there is flour on my shoes: basics; or why mashed potatoes should never come from a freeze-dried packet

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all too often, I get into tight fixes. I use my judgey face on my friends, they laugh at me for having grown up in the metaphorical 1950’s. It turns out, freezing milk in ice cube trays to simply pop into one’s cup of coffee in the morning is a silly way to save the extra milk one doesn’t want to spoil before one might drink it. Also, musicals are no longer a widely viewed from of entertainment.

Somehow, that also translates into the idea that people are shocked by parents that pulled a chair up to the stove, popped a four year old on top, handed her a spoon, and told her to keep an eye on the sautéed onions. I’ve always been precocious, but it may well have been encouraged.

So, for me, the basics of cooking came through some sort of olive oil osmosis. I watched, I was handed a spoon, things were explained as they happened. All too often, I fully expect my closest of friends or just acquaintances to have the same knowledge. That is exactly where my judgey face comes into play. What I think are the simplest of things aren’t for everyone. They simply did not learn how. All too often someone needs to put me in my place and remind me of that simple fact. When no one teaches something, no one can learn it either.

It is hard for me to understand how grown men and women don’t know how to cook, how to even read a recipe and end up with a simple dish. It is particularly the simple ones that get to me. Rationally I know it is just a lack of education, but still, sometimes I’ve just got to reign it in.

and so, like some sort of traditional cooking fairy, I bring forth the easiest of recipes that all too often gets shoved into a packaged, freeze dried, and reconstituted with boiling water. For shame! {this is my judgey face} Bring on the comforting, easy food!

Mashed Potatoes (seriously. super easy.)

For four-five people

4 medium potatoes

Kosher salt

2 tablespoons butter

¼ cup (or less) half & half or whole milk

Peel the potatoes and cut into 1 inch square chunks (no need to make them actually square, just about that size). Place in a large pot, cover well with water, add about 2 teaspoons of kosher salt, and boil, with the lid on, for about 45 minutes. The potato chunks will give easily to a knife slid into them. If you’re in a hurry, cut the potatoes into smaller pieces and they will take less time to cook.

Drain the water from the pot, then add the butter. Mash into a fine meal, then add some of the half & half. At this point, you can either use a whisk to beat the potatoes and dairy into a fluffy mass or an electric hand mixer. Add more cream if necessary to thin the mixture, but you’ll recognize the appropriate texture when you get there. Don’t add to much cream or it will be runny. It is always better to have to add more than have too much liquid.
For a variation, you can peel only half of the potatoes and leave the skin on the rest, or toss in a couple of chopped cloves of garlic when you begin cooking.